Once a person is contaminated by emoism they become a health hazard to all those around them. Simply by listening to the false depression spewing from their mouths or the crapy music can turn others emo. This is why action has to be taken ASAP. This is a step by step guide on how to do this.
First of all, by doing this you are putting yourself in very real danger by placing yourself in close proximity to the Infected, I am not held liable for any injuries to the wrist area or for excessive crying.
Now, what you will need is;
Pack of salt, x1
Metal barrel, x1
Petrol or any other flammable liquids, 5 liters
Pack of large garbage bags x1
Hammer x1
Start off by going into the Infected’s room and gather up any and all black clothing. Making sure not to leave behind any obscenely coloured socks, studded belts, dog collars or suspenders. Place all items in a garbage bag and seal tightly. It is believed that the clothing weakens the person’s ability to realize what idiots they are and must be dealt with.
Then rip down all posters, banners and flags in the room. You will notice that some of these will have love stains on them; this is due to every sane person hating Emo’s and therefore them having no one else to share the experience with. Seal these in a bag.
Next sort through every CD and DVD the Infected owns all emo music must be placed in another garbage bag with great caution. This is the main means for the Emo to spread. It infects all who hear it for long enough and lulls them into a state of self pity and fake depression. Removing these is only half the problem, for in this great day and age there is such a thing as a portable audio player. There are a few ways to get a hold of the Infected’s mp3 player, and here they are;
i. Wait untill they put it down, and then take it. This one is alright as long as you do it before you start the other two steps, because the Infected is bound to take it everywhere with them, and they wont want to risk it being taken if all their other Emo paraphernalia has been removed.
ii. Take it by force. This one is also good, all emo men are pussies and shy away from confrontation making stealing there mp3 player a breeze. Try to do this right before you follow the last step.
Once you have the mp3 player wipe it clean. To make sure you have removed all emo music you will have to get onto the Infected’s computer and remove all mp3 files. This can be a problem if the computer runs Windows with separate profiles, but you can access the files via the Admin profile. If they are the admin profile then try to guess their password. It shouldn’t be hard, look through their music collection and try some of the band names. If this fails, the password will be something like xxcriig.insidexx, brkenhart or something along those lines. One thing to remember is never use punctuation, spaces or correct spelling. Once in perform a format on the media partition.
Now, wait for the infected individual to return home. When they do grab them and tie them to a chair. Call in your local priest and tell him the situation and he should be over very quickly. Whilst the exorcism takes place collect all the garbage bags you have collected and take them outside to the metal drum. Place all items of clothing and the posters in the drum and douse them with half of the flammable liquid of your choice and proceed to light it. Then, take the CD’s and DVD’s and put them on the ground and smash them with a hammer. I have found that imagining the pictures on the front were really the band helps with the smashing. Once the clothes and posters have burnt out ad the smashed CD’s and DVD’s to the barrel and pore the rest of the flammable liquid in. Notice the tormented souls of the lyric artists escaping from their plastic hell, this is because no Emo band has the talent to even play their instruments, let alone write their music.
After all the Emo items have been burnt sufficiently pour the salt on the ashes and bury them.
The priest should be done by now and the Infected person ready to become a contributing member of society.